Practice what you preach

One of the traits I respect most in others is honesty. I love being able to listen to what someone else says to me and know that it is the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Truth is.. this tends to happen less than I'd like.

We've all been there before and I'd be a hypocrite to claim that I've never been one to say "I''m just leaving now" when in reality I'm still rolling around under the covers trying to get a few more minutes of sleep. Or maybe you've said "I sure love this fruitcake" when in all honesty, it tastes more like a piece of pre-chewed gum that you are trying to remove from the sole of your new shoes!

A few weeks ago, I graduated from the fine University of California, Irvine located in the city of the same name. It was quite the climactic moment in my life and for the 4 years I called UCI home, I have grown so much as a person. From rowing a boat with my Crew friends years one and two to a transition into the newly named "Cru" years three and four. I loved the times I shared with both groups and have learned something from each person I met.

I'd like to share a brief experience I shared with the latter mentioned "Cru." It came during the annual Spring Launch retreat, this year held in the esthetically pleasing Victorville, CA!

I really didn't want to be a part of the senior sharing and reflection time. Even though I enjoy the spotlight from time to time, I rarely enjoy public thanks and applause for my influence in any group. I'd much rather be thanked privately or with a small gesture of similar kindness down the road. This means much more to me. But tradition is tradition and it was my civic duty to share some advice to those I would soon be leaving.

I came in late and found my seat at the end of the other seniors. I'm not sure what I had missed, but at that moment, I felt like all eyes were on me and judging my tardiness. Thoughts like, "This isn't like him" or "I can't believe he thinks he can just show up late like that" flooded my mind. Not a single positive thought ran through my mind for that moment. Amidst laughs and applause from the others, my mood continued to race into darkness. Why was I there? No one would care if I was gone anyway.

The time came where all the seniors would sum up their college experience in a few words. I can't explain the sigh of relief that swept over me when we were told to start at the other end of the line. Finally, all the eyes where diverted to the farthest point from me. A moment's peace.

I closed my eyes as I listened to my peers share their hearts. Advice to dig into the Word more or to make sacrifices to developed deep relationships or to actually read the required reading fell upon the underclassmen who seemed to soak up every word like precious water in a thirsty desert.  It would almost be my turn to share, but what would I say?

Jason spoke as did Travis and then Joanna. Now it was my turn. As I began to stand up, I could feel  all my emotions coming to the tear ducts behind my eyes. The pressure was so great, I did all I could to hold them back as I spoke these words:

"God doesn't merely want to be first in your life, He wants to be your everything. He gave everything for you, will you give everything for Him?"

As I began my descent back to the chair, I didn't hear anything. Not a word or applause or even a pin drop. Utter silence. What had I done? Did any words actually leave my lips or was this all just a dream?

A couple months passed since then and I find myself sitting in a Starbucks trying to raise support for the South Africa Summer Project. At present, I am not near the goal amount and the clock is ticking away. I have just finished reading a message from one of my best friends from high school. I shared with him the journey I have been on the last few months and realized the gravity of the words of advice I had shared just a while back. I have just enough in my accounts to cover the remaining balance and am preparing myself to give as much as I can to serve.

I hope this story encourages you in unique, personal ways. I hope you are able to not only give comfortable, but to head into the uncomfortable and rely on God to take care of the rest. If you are doing what He wants you to do, you can never fail.

Psalm 40

1I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry. 
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 
    out of the mud and mire; 
he set my feet on a rock 
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord 
    and put their trust in him.

⁴ Blessed is the one 
    who trusts in the Lord, 
who does not look to the proud, 
    to those who turn aside to false gods.^[b] 
5 Many, Lord my God,
    are the wonders you have done,
    the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
    were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
    they would be too many to declare.

⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire— 
    but my ears you have opened^[c]— 
    burnt offerings and sin offerings^[d] you did not require.
⁷ Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
    it is written about me in the scroll.^[e] 
8 I desire to do your will, my God; 
    your law is within my heart.”

⁹ I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; 
    I do not seal my lips, Lord,
    as you know. 
¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
    I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness    from the great assembly.

¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;
    may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
¹² For troubles without number surround me;
    my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. 
They are more than the hairs of my head, 
    and my heart fails within me.
¹³ Be pleased to save me, Lord;
    come quickly, Lord, to help me.

¹⁴ May all who want to take my life 
    be put to shame and confusion; 
may all who desire my ruin 
    be turned back in disgrace.
¹⁵ May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!” 
    be appalled at their own shame.
¹⁶ But may all who seek you 
    rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
    “The Lord is great!”

¹⁷ But as for me, I am poor and needy; 
    may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer; 
    you are my God, do not delay.